In this article, you will explore author Don Miguel Ruiz’s philosophy on making agreements with yourself to live more authentically and freely.
How Agreements Shape Our Lives
Ruiz wrote his best-selling book The Four Agreements after a car accident that profoundly altered the course of his life, prompting him to reflect deeply on human existence. Years later, after surviving a heart attack and undergoing surgery, he co-wrote The Fifth Agreement with his son.
Ruiz believes that every action we take in life is rooted in the agreements we make, with the most significant ones being those we make with ourselves. He proposes that living by these five agreements can serve as a guide to a more fulfilling and liberated life.
The Five Agreements
As per the author:
- Be Impeccable with Your Word
This means speaking with integrity and only saying what you truly believe. Avoid using your words to criticize yourself, speak ill of others, or lie. Recognize that words have great power, capable of either building or destroying—strive to use your words for good. - Don’t Take Anything Personally
According to Ruiz, what others say or do is simply a reflection of their own reality—of their dreams, fears, anger, and fantasies. Realizing this makes it easier not to take things personally. - Don’t Make Assumptions
Rather than assuming, approach situations with curiosity and the courage to ask questions. Be clear in your communication to avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary drama. - Always Do Your Best
Success is not guaranteed; the key is to always do your best. Your “best” may vary from moment to moment. Accept that you’re not perfect, and that failure is part of the process, but don’t let that stop you from striving to do your best. - Be Skeptical, But Learn to Listen
Avoid accepting things at face value. Use doubt as a tool to question what you hear, asking yourself, “Is this really true?” Listen attentively to understand the true meaning behind the message being conveyed.
Through these five agreements, Ruiz offers guidelines that encourage us to reflect on our choices and actions. Do you think making similar agreements with yourself could be beneficial? On a practical level, what would it mean to incorporate these agreements into your life? How would they manifest for you? This could be an insightful topic to explore further in one of your upcoming coaching sessions.